Use both your ears to win your tug of war

What do you say when it's a tug of war with yourself?

When you know what you want, but you feel you can't go for it...

When your heart says "do this", but your head says "be careful"...

When your words call-out for help, but your body pushes back...

When you're hurting, but you're not ready to take care of it...

tug of war.jpg

We can ALL RELATE to one time or another when we felt this tug of war.
It’s a battle in every sense. In winning, one side denies the other.
And no matter what, it costs us.

Too often, we allow loud voices of doubt, fear and worry, to silence our wants.
And after that, we often double down and beat ourselves up, for not living up to what we really want for ourselves.

So, perhaps we can consider something new - so simple and so profound.

What if we could listen with two ears -

and really listen to BOTH sides?


What if we could hold-on, and appreciate both the tug to the left and the tug to the right.

What if we could listen to the first feeling, the deeper voice, the raw desire and give it air.
Just as we also listen to the second feeling, the protective voice and the inhibitory defense.

Each side has a purpose.

The first, expresses our unfiltered desire, to initiate and project ourselves forward.
The second, serves to protect us and pull us back to safety.

Instead of a tug of war, with one winner and one loser, let's find a third way.
We can hold both ends of the rope, honoring both sides and riding the tension between.
Without denying either side...
we can pursue our wants,
even as we exercise healthy measures of self-preservation.

We invite you to consider this, when you find yourself asking "What do I say when I hear myself wanting one thing, but I'm not ready to go for it?"

Here is how we do it in our practice.

We are mindful to listen to people.
We try to listen to both sides.

  1. What do people really want?

  2. What (legitimately) holds people back?

PEOPLE WANT... be understood. express themselves. pursue the connections they crave. pursue their goals. succeed. help themselves and their kids. be independent. get the best.

...conflicts in schedules.
...geographic distance / travel time.
...preserving the predictability of the status quo.
...fear of the unknown...
...disbelief they could actually do better.
...overestimating what will be required.
...fear of failure.

When people are looking for help,

we provide dynamic solutions.

We want for you, what you wish for yourself!

We seek to understand you.
We empower you with self-expression.
We help you build connections, so you feel connected.
We clarify your goals and then get behind you to pursue them.
We chart a path to success, step by step.
We cultivate skills to help you help yourself.
We nurture your independence, so you don't depend on us.
We provide the best professional communication care.

At the same time, we know we need to understand what holds you back,
and we work with you to overcome your obstacles.

We offer multiple methods of payment.
We schedule daytime and evening hours.
We reach you with local offices and online appointments
We custom-fit the process to match your needs: with the ability to work 1x/week, or more intensively.
We identify what you are ready/able to do, and set realistic expectations.
We provide up-to-date information and understanding.
We show you how you have it within you, to be your own best problem-solver.
We create the possibility to envision and believe in your success.

So, you can go get what you really want!